Fifty Shades On and Off
by thriilzzz
Summary: Christian continues to keep secrets from Anastasia and she keeps walking out on him. Would their love for each other continue if Christian keeps making Anastasia leave from everything he is bottling up to her.
1. Chapter 1

'Hey guys, Ana here, today I will be doing a haul. Christian spoiled me when we went shopping the other day.' I smile remembering back to that day.

'Moving on,' I say to my camera in front of me. I start showing the camera everything I bought and saying the prices too. I make fashion and beauty YouTube videos, I didn't like the idea at first because I was never into fashion. I mostly make vlogs with Christian and I acting stupid though. I love it.

I glance at Christian who is lying in the large double bed beside me with perfectly plumped cushions and a thick cosy white duvet that covers his lower body. Christian is staring at me, he loves watching me make videos for my fans on YouTube. He sometimes invades the endings of my videos to entertain my fans. They love it. They love him. They love us. I am happy, that's why they love him.

Christian and I look at each other for about 8 seconds. In that time I am analyzing his beautiful face, his sharp, sexy jaw line, bright blue magical eyes and his long curly just-woken-up hair. He has a little stubble which makes him look even hotter. Gosh, he puts me in such a trance.

'Morning, sleep head' I say to break the silence.

'Good morning, baby' he replies straight faced, not moving his eyes off of me. We have been married for 1 year and 2 months and I still get shivers down my spine whenever he calls me 'baby'. Weird, right? He just has an effect on me.

'Sleep well?' I ask him softly whilst walking over to him, forgetting the camera is still recording.

I get onto the bed and lay down next to him. My head resting on his shoulder and his arm over me and his hand placed on my bum. He squeezes it. Cheeky. I gracefully place my hand on his chest and snuggle up to him.

'It was very good' he seductively says with a wink.

I giggle because I know he is talking about our love making in the bath tub yesterday in the early evening.

'Well good' I smile, lifting my face up and planting a soft kiss on his smooth lips.

We have a staring contest for a moment again. Gosh, he is so beautiful.

Christian starts to move his hands down to my zip on my jeans. I move back immediately, stepping out of the love trance he gives me.

'Woah, hold it there Christian' I say quickly remembering last night. 'You don't get any of me until you tell me where you were last night' I snap, starting to get angry.

Christians face drops and he frowns. Sudden mood change of course.

He ditched our dinner date yesterday at one of our favourite restaurants. After our sweet love making we done yesterday he said he had to quickly go somewhere and he would meet me at the restaurant. He never turned up! After half an hour of waiting I told Sawyer to take me home. I don't even know what time he came back that night because I was asleep so I couldn't ask him. I can't believe I didn't even remember earlier! He has such an effect on me. Now is my chance to ask! No more secrets.

'Leave it, Ana' Christian forcefully murmurs whilst getting up and walking away.

'Christian! NO! How can I just drop this!? I want to know where you were last night!' I shout getting really angry now! He is definitely hiding something! He always keeps me in the dark of everything, I have had enough now!

Christian turns around to me, his eyes burning with anger.

'I said leave it!' he whispers aggressively through his clenched teeth.

My eyes pop wide open. How dare he talk to me like that and get angry, I should be the only one getting angry.

Christian turns around and starts to walk away again!

I quickly get up off the bed and approach him ready for a big argument to commence. He has been everything from me far too long now. It's time for him to tell me.

'CHRISTIAN! NO MORE SECRETS! I want you to tell me EVERYTHING now! I am your fiancée, how can you hide things from me when you know damn well I never hide anything from you. Just say the word and I'll go and I won't come back.' Wow, I feel good after saying that all in one breath.

I have left Christian many times before, but I can only leave him for a week, tops. I can't be away from him for too long, he is my everything.

But what I am saying is true though, all these secrets he is keeping from me are really starting to piss me right off! My best friend, Kate, knows more of what's normally going on in our family than I do!

Christian just turns and walks away with a blank expression on his face but the anger still burning in his eyes. He is acting like I never said a word just a second ago!

Right, that's it! 'Well okay, if that's what you want' I say furiously, aggressively taking my wedding rings off, walking up to him in his smooth palm. I am having déjà vu. I have done this too many times.

I quickly grab my bag, press stop on my camera and head for the door. I don't have time to pick up the whole camera, tripod and laptop. I just needed to get out of there.

Is this really it now? We're definitely over this time? No more Christian and Anastasia Grey.


	2. Chapter 2

**In chapter 1 I wrote that Ana is Christian's fiancée. At first I wanted them to be just engaged but I changed my mind but I did not change it on paper so I just typed up what I wrote. Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the reviews! Please keep writing reviews, it keeps me writing!  
Enjoy this short chapter! Just needed to put something up so I didn't keep people waiting! J**

It has been a week since I walked out on Christian. I left all my stuff at his place including my camera, MacBook , some clothes and my phone charger. I have been borrowing Kate's charger in the meantime.

I don't want to go back to Christians place, I just can't. The amount of times I have left him and either him or I have come running back to each other every time is countless. No matter how much of a control freaked dick he is, I just can't let go. Every time he comes back to me, it's like he is my first love all over again.

I hate running from him, but it's like it is the only thing that makes him realise he loves me and that he does need me in his life. He just needs to start opening up to me. I know it is hard for him to open up to people since he is a very private person, but I am his wife for crying out loud!

My face begins to become hot and tears stream down my cheeks. I am in bed and Kate has gone to work, I am all alone and I don't know what to do.

Shall I go over to Christian's place or not? There is a lot of unfinished business to deal with, so I am going to have to see him at some point.

**Woah this is really short. Next chapter should be long and Christian's POV on things! Stay tuned! x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I am SO SORRY for the lack of updates. I have had over 10 exams these past months! And I have January exams too! L Including lots of deadlines!**

**I hope you all had a great Christmas and happy new year to you all!**

**I would like to thank everyone who has followed, favourite and left very kind reviews on this story. I appreciate all of you even though there have only been 2 chapters! J I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Christian's POV**

She left me. Again. Every day this week I woke up just looking and touching all her things she left behind. I went onto her MacBook and looked through her pictures of us two at our beach wedding in Portugal, our honeymoon and the surprise birthday party I organised for her. I grin excitedly thinking back to our honeymoon. It was so romantic. I loved every second of it, especially because I was with her. My grin gradually fades away like a breath on a window after realising she's not here anymore.

I'm sitting on my bed right now thinking about her and looking at all her stuff. I let out a long and deep sigh. I glance at her camera that is standing up by a tripod. I get up and walk over to it. I don't even know how to switch it on let alone record something. I pick up the large SLR camera and run my eyes all around it in search of the on button. I see the on button and I click it. My two feet appear on the screen since it's faced downwards. I laugh to myself a little, wow; the first time I have laughed since Ana left. I find the record button too and click it. What am I doing? I set the camera on the tripod and turn it so the lens is facing me. Um…

"Hey baby," I say innocently to the camera like she is literally in front of me.

"If you're watching this, please carry on. Don't turn it off, please." I beg into the camera.

"I just want to say that I am so sorry for how I always make you leave. Baby, I know it's not fair that I hide everything from you, but...but you know why" I pause.

"For now, Ana, please be patient with me. It is so hard for me to open up to people; you are one of them because I do not want to scare you away. But it seems like when I'm not opening up to you, you still run away from me. Baby, you need to stop running and let me catch up with you so we can sort this out together." I let out within two heartbeats.

"The one year and two months of our on and off marriage has sure been a rollercoaster, but I want to get off of this rollercoaster ride. I'm so sick of it now. I want us to finally be happy together, forever; not just for a few months. You are my lifeline. Without you I am dead to many people. I don't work, I don't sleep and I don't eat. I even told Mrs Jones to have many days off because I am never hungry now."

"I just want to make you happy, Ana. I-I hate being the reason for all the tears you shed, and now I have realised how much of a dick I have been that has led you to walk out of our home. Yes, _our_ home." It was our home.

"When you walked out it felt different to all the other times you walked out on me. It felt like…like this time you…you actually meant it." I start to stutter and pause. I look down in shame because I know this is my entire fault.

"But from this day onwards I-I will never _ever_ make you walk out of ou-our house without your beautiful wedding-ng rings on. You a-are my happiness and the reason I am living-ng" I sob and choke on my words.

"Without yo-you, my love I cannot-not function prop-properly. Please, ple-ease come back, I love you so much, Anastasia Grey. You took my la-last name fo-for a reason." I stutter and choke, I am crying so much. I have never broken down like this before.

I stand up, walk over to the camera and press stop. Tears waterfall down my face and hot breath escapes my mouth when I breathe out to calm down as I slowly walk away from the camera. My face feels so burnt and irritated from the tears I shed.

I sit on the end of our bed and aggressively run my hands through my hair crying. I itch my stubble that I haven't shaved since she has left.

"I love you so much, Ana" I cry out as I sob, wishing she will watch the video and know that I meant each word this time.

**I cut this chapter short because I really hated making you guys wait. I hope you enjoyed. Please tell what you all think!**

**What should Ana do!?**

**If you would like to contact me here is my twitter: Thriilzzz **


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